For those Phi Kap members who haven't yet heard. We have a new colony! Please help me welcome our newest group from Bridgewater State University in Bridgewater, MA to the Phi Kappa Theta family! I had the pleasure of spending the last 5 days on campus with these gentlemen, doing A LOT of training and planning for their colony. During our weekend I realized that while this group still has a lot to learn about Phi Kappa Theta and fraternity life, that they also had a lot that they could teach some of our older chapters. So here are some lessons from a new colony.
They dream big!!
I have worked many times with existing chapters who are looking for a change and trying to set goals. The thing that always occurs however is often existing chapters goal set or dream with blinders on. They see things as challenges, rather than possibilities. Our new groups have a tendency to see the big picture. This group inspired me when they talked to me about how they wanted to be viewed as a fraternity and what they wanted to be known for. Its big!
They all start as equals.
Our colony members don't get initiated until they actually become a chapter. Therefore they all start on a level playing field. There is no active and new member divide, when a member gets a bid they then aren't required to spend 8 weeks proving themselves. They immediately become a part of the group and start assisting in the decision making. I promise you, they have passion. But they were able to get that through a shared vision for the group, rather than having a list of things to do to prove they belong there.
They ask Why
Part of the reason they ask why is simply of course because they don't know. They've never been in a fraternity before and are in the process of learning what it means. But the asking why benefits them! So many chapters are afraid to ask why. They do things because its "tradition" or because that's how its supposed to be done. If groups asked themselves why more often, I think we'd start seeing that many of those traditions have no place in Phi Kappa Theta. In fact when planning recruitment events the first thing I heard was " well we shouldn't be doing that event solely because everyone else is doing it" They challenged and questioned it all.
This group really sparked my passion for fraternity and sorority life again this week, because they have the ability to see the possibilities. I hope others can learn from their excitement as well.
If you haven't yet, follow them on twitter at @bsuphikaps. Or their facebook fan page Phi Kappa Theta at Bridgewater State University!
Sunday, October 24, 2010
Wednesday, September 15, 2010
National Hazing Prevention Week
Monday marks the beginning of National Hazing Prevention Week (September 20-24). Campuses nationwide are hosting speakers, contests, and giving out information regarding hazing and its effects. Here are some ideas for you and your chapter to take a stand as well.
- Actually participate in the hazing prevention activities that may be going on in your campus community.
-Take this time to review and take a look at your Associate Member Program. Be critical, is it really serving its purpose?
- Take a look at the Sigma Nu #40 answers campaign. They took some of the most common excuses for hazing and provided rebuttals. Use these to have a discussion within your chapter. You can find them on twitter if you search for #40answers or you can find some of their blog posts here http://sigmanuhq.wordpress.com/category/hazing
-Make a banner, wear a pin, announce to the campus that your chapter is anti-hazing...and ACTUALLY mean it!
-Use a video to spark discussion with your chapter. ResponseAbility or Hazed are good ones. You can also find clips at www.hazingprevention.org of personal stories.
These are just a few of the many ideas that campuses and chapters can do to celebrate National Hazing Prevention Week. We'd love to hear other ideas you have, or chat with you about creative ways to integrate this into your chapter. You can also find a lot more ideas and information at www.hazingprevention.org and we encourage you to do so! Lead the way!
- Actually participate in the hazing prevention activities that may be going on in your campus community.
-Take this time to review and take a look at your Associate Member Program. Be critical, is it really serving its purpose?
- Take a look at the Sigma Nu #40 answers campaign. They took some of the most common excuses for hazing and provided rebuttals. Use these to have a discussion within your chapter. You can find them on twitter if you search for #40answers or you can find some of their blog posts here http://sigmanuhq.wordpress.com/category/hazing
-Make a banner, wear a pin, announce to the campus that your chapter is anti-hazing...and ACTUALLY mean it!
-Use a video to spark discussion with your chapter. ResponseAbility or Hazed are good ones. You can also find clips at www.hazingprevention.org of personal stories.
These are just a few of the many ideas that campuses and chapters can do to celebrate National Hazing Prevention Week. We'd love to hear other ideas you have, or chat with you about creative ways to integrate this into your chapter. You can also find a lot more ideas and information at www.hazingprevention.org and we encourage you to do so! Lead the way!
Wednesday, June 2, 2010
So you want to land a job?
Every year as school is ending (or has ended) there will always be graduates everywhere in panic mode. Job searching is hard, time consuming, and you need to get to get paid and get out of the parents house! Before my position here at Phi Kappa Theta, I spent a lot of time working in career development and still volunteer my time assisting students in finding jobs/careers. So I thought I would empower our members to get moving with (in my opinion) 5 things to step up your job search game. Hopefully even those not currently job searching will find some value!
1. Give concrete examples and experiences. I can't say this enough!! For example. Don't tell an interviewer you are a good communicator. Instead tell them that you improved communication between your chapter and alumni board by appointing a liaison and organizing monthly meetings. On your resume don't write " I sold tires", instead try " Exceeded weekly tire sales goal by 10 percent." Employers don't want empty words. Also be aware that the trend in interviewing has moved to behavioral questions. Employers don't want to know what you would do in a situation, they want an example of how exactly have you dealt with a situation in the past.
2. Research, Research, Research! You should be researching any company or position extensively. You shouldn't be applying for a job or going to an interview without knowing about who they are and what they do. Not only does it show employers your clear interest for position, but it allows you to tailor your resume and cover letter, as well as interview answers to allow the company to see how you would benefit their specific organization, rather than just any job or company out there.
3. Speaking of tailoring your resume... Unless you are applying for the exact same job with the exact same types of companies, it could be helpful to have multiple versions of your resume. It is more work on the front end, but you are able to sell specific skills better this way, and could have a much better chance at hearing back. But more importantly, you should NOT be sending out the same generic cover letter to everyone. The cover letter is the chance for you to add things about why you are interested in the position and what makes you a good fit for the company. It a way to personalize and engage the employer in a way you can't with a resume. A generic cover letter will not highlight you to your best advantage.
4. The little things do count! Checking timezones when setting up a phone interview, being courteous to administrative and wait staff, being on time, actually asking your references if they are willing to be called upon (rather than just slapping the name down of an old supervisor), writing coherent professional e-mails. All of these things matter! When job searching, you need to be projecting a professional image 100 percent of the time, you never know who will offer you a job! (seriously, I was offered a position with the hotel while waiting for Anita to pick me up for my interview here...you really do never know!) When hundreds of candidates are trying to get the same position, it doesn't take much to get you taken out of the running. And while we are at it, I know you've heard it, but please clean up your online presence.
5. Being in a fraternity is an advantage, but only if you use it to your potential. Fraternities always sell the after college benefits of joining, I'd bet the majority of our chapters do the same. There are absolutely benefits to being a Phi Kappa Theta member after college, but being in a fraternity doesn't mean you will suddenly have access to great jobs and networks, it just means you have the opportunity to do so. So use fraternity to your advantage. Come to conferences and network with chapters, staff, and alumni volunteers, look up Phi Kap members in the city you are interested in moving to. Join your chapter alumni board or group (or start one!). And for those still in school, make a difference in your chapter so that Fraternity can be a selling point on your resume, not just a club you throw in at the bottom of the page!
I could type much more if given the opportunity, but hope this post gives you some things to think about and re-energizes those of you in the midst of it all! And I'll always answer questions if you have them.
1. Give concrete examples and experiences. I can't say this enough!! For example. Don't tell an interviewer you are a good communicator. Instead tell them that you improved communication between your chapter and alumni board by appointing a liaison and organizing monthly meetings. On your resume don't write " I sold tires", instead try " Exceeded weekly tire sales goal by 10 percent." Employers don't want empty words. Also be aware that the trend in interviewing has moved to behavioral questions. Employers don't want to know what you would do in a situation, they want an example of how exactly have you dealt with a situation in the past.
2. Research, Research, Research! You should be researching any company or position extensively. You shouldn't be applying for a job or going to an interview without knowing about who they are and what they do. Not only does it show employers your clear interest for position, but it allows you to tailor your resume and cover letter, as well as interview answers to allow the company to see how you would benefit their specific organization, rather than just any job or company out there.
3. Speaking of tailoring your resume... Unless you are applying for the exact same job with the exact same types of companies, it could be helpful to have multiple versions of your resume. It is more work on the front end, but you are able to sell specific skills better this way, and could have a much better chance at hearing back. But more importantly, you should NOT be sending out the same generic cover letter to everyone. The cover letter is the chance for you to add things about why you are interested in the position and what makes you a good fit for the company. It a way to personalize and engage the employer in a way you can't with a resume. A generic cover letter will not highlight you to your best advantage.
4. The little things do count! Checking timezones when setting up a phone interview, being courteous to administrative and wait staff, being on time, actually asking your references if they are willing to be called upon (rather than just slapping the name down of an old supervisor), writing coherent professional e-mails. All of these things matter! When job searching, you need to be projecting a professional image 100 percent of the time, you never know who will offer you a job! (seriously, I was offered a position with the hotel while waiting for Anita to pick me up for my interview here...you really do never know!) When hundreds of candidates are trying to get the same position, it doesn't take much to get you taken out of the running. And while we are at it, I know you've heard it, but please clean up your online presence.
5. Being in a fraternity is an advantage, but only if you use it to your potential. Fraternities always sell the after college benefits of joining, I'd bet the majority of our chapters do the same. There are absolutely benefits to being a Phi Kappa Theta member after college, but being in a fraternity doesn't mean you will suddenly have access to great jobs and networks, it just means you have the opportunity to do so. So use fraternity to your advantage. Come to conferences and network with chapters, staff, and alumni volunteers, look up Phi Kap members in the city you are interested in moving to. Join your chapter alumni board or group (or start one!). And for those still in school, make a difference in your chapter so that Fraternity can be a selling point on your resume, not just a club you throw in at the bottom of the page!
I could type much more if given the opportunity, but hope this post gives you some things to think about and re-energizes those of you in the midst of it all! And I'll always answer questions if you have them.
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
I just flew in and boy are my arms tired!
Okay, so the joke in the title isn't funny, but I did just fly in and thought it would lead in to a great post about travel!
Rob and I just got back into town last night from what I believe is our last traveling of the school year! In all of the traveling I've done this year and all of the Phi Kappa Theta members I've met with, the most common questions I get are about the traveling we do. Members want to know how often we actually travel, how many chapters we see, what its like to have a job like this, etc. So coming fresh off of two colony visits and being grounded for a few months, I thought this would be an interesting post.
Rob and I just got back into town last night from what I believe is our last traveling of the school year! In all of the traveling I've done this year and all of the Phi Kappa Theta members I've met with, the most common questions I get are about the traveling we do. Members want to know how often we actually travel, how many chapters we see, what its like to have a job like this, etc. So coming fresh off of two colony visits and being grounded for a few months, I thought this would be an interesting post.
To start with a Phi Kappa Theta travel review, I did some quick math on our travel stats for the year. Many of our events did have multiple staff members attend, but for ease I only counted mileage one time. While we have a larger staff, the traveling staff consists of myself, Rob, and Anita, so these miles are between just the 3 of us. Miles traveled from August 1 to today.
Fraternity Conferences (Convention, PA, Regionals): 1,298 miles
Chapter/Colony Visits: 15,897 miles
Misc (Board meetings, Professional conferences, etc) 9,453 miles
Total miles traveled since August: 26,648 miles
Chapters seen : 17
States visited: 10
These definitely aren't exact numbers. I did some estimates as it would've taken me much longer to do a true total. But hopefully it gives a view of what it looks like for us here in the office. The summer is typical quieter, though I think most of us have at least one conference travel this summer before LI in St. Louis!
I also get asked a lot about what it's like to be able to travel for work, usually from members who career wise are curious what it would be like. The Phi Kap staff doesn't travel constantly. Average is once or twice a month per traveling staff member depending on whats going on and we do our darndest to get the most out of each trip (multiple chapters during a trip). But my quick answer to members who ask...is that it is really cool to travel! We get to see different cities and campuses, we get to meet people all over the country and I have fun stories from almost every trip. I feel lucky to get to experience the country in a different way than many and wouldn't trade it for anything! However members who are considering jobs with traveling components also need to understand that it isn't always great. It can get lonely and it can be hard to miss events at home that are going on. You see a lot of hotel rooms and airports and don't always get to explore the city you are in. And believe it or not, you do get sick of eating out.
I hope that answered the questions that I always get. Happy travels for anyone who is, and I look forward to seeing new chapters and new places during the next school year!
Tuesday, April 6, 2010
Leadership Institute
Registration for Leadership Institute 2010 has been open for a few weeks and we couldn't be happier! This year looks to be an impressive conference. For the first time we're including spiritual development training for all attendees, etiquette training, and brand new alumni training. Two major highlights of the weekend include a night out at the City Museum which includes dinner and a few hours to explore the museum. In addition, we are holding a drive where we are asking attendees to donate items to Annie Malone's Transitional Living Program. Visit the event page on the website to see a full agenda, items to donate, and information about Annie Malone's.
Early Bird registration ends on April 16th so hurry and register to save $50 per person! Remember that all chapters need to send at least two people and we encourage all of our members to attend. We are hoping for record numbers this year so get registered!
If you have any questions about Leadership Institute, please contact Anita Kerlin at anita@phikaps.org.
Thursday, April 1, 2010
Manliness-Some Thursday Food for Thought
A colleague posted this on facebook today and thought it provided an interesting perspective into what it means to be a man, or to be manly. Do you agree? disagree? Tell us your thoughts! The Art of Manliness also is an interesting site around the same topic!
Thursday, March 4, 2010
What Potential Members need to know before saying "YES"
What's the most important thing we make sure Potential Members know before saying "yes" to a bid? T.J. Sullivan answers this question. Please visit his blog and check out all of his posts, they are fantastic!
http://apathymyth.blogspot.com/
You Are Always Wearing Your Letters
You're interested in joining our fraternity? We'd love to have you. You're the type of person we look for: committed, enthusiastic, a leader. We think you'll do great things here, and we hope that we'll open some doors for you. You will make lifelong friendships, and hopefully, you'll be the type of person whose positive impact will be felt here for many years.
This is the start of something really cool.
We know you have your reasons for joining, and we also know that the reasons you'll stay will be entirely different. Trust us on that one. People tend to join for the image, the props, and the social stuff. They stay around for the friendships and because they find a place where they can impact the lives of others. It's a family. We know this. Soon, you will, too.
Soon, these letters will be yours. But, there's one lesson that we need to impress upon you before you sign your name on the dotted line, pay that first fee, and get that first t-shirt. It's the single most important thing we're going to ask of you, so you need to listen and understand it, now, before you say "yes."
It's the one most important thing that any fraternity or sorority can impress upon its new members. It's the one lesson that every group must impress upon its newest members. Truly, our survival as an organization on this campus, and nationwide, depends on you understanding this one simple lesson and taking it to heart.
It's more important than our history, our traditions, our structure, or our rules. Because, if you don't understand this most fundamental lesson, then none of the other stuff will matter. If you don't get this one "golden rule of fraternity," then your son or daughter won't have this kind of organization to join someday, and all of this will just be a fuzzy memory.
Here it is. Ready?
From the moment you say yes to this organization, you are always wearing your letters.
I'm going to repeat it.
From the moment you say yes to this organization, you are always wearing your letters.
We're not talking about t-shirts, or sweatshirts, or hats made in the colors of the group. We're not talking about a tattoo on your ankle, some party favor, or a badge you wear on your dress shirt.
What we mean is that when you say yes to lifetime membership in this group, everything you say, do and represent from that moment forward is a direct reflection on this group, your brothers, and the thousands of members who have come before you. Everything you put out to the world is a direct reflection of this fraternity. Every decision, every achievement, every mistake you make happens to all of us from this point forward.
When you go to the grocery store, you represent us. If you fall asleep in class or earn a weak grade, you represent us. When you drive down the road and slow down so a pedestrian can cross the street, you represent us.
When you turn 21 and hit the town, you represent us. When you become a leader of another campus organization, you represent us. When you insult someone or talk badly about another fraternity, you represent us. When you break up with someone and make decisions about how you behave during that difficult time, you represent us. When you go on Spring Break, you represent us.
When you go home and sit at your mother's dining room table, you represent us. When you get a job and go to work for a company or organization, you represent us. When you commit your life to that special person, someday, you represent us.
You are always wearing your letters.
From this day forward, always. Every day, in every situation. They never come off.
As surely as if you tattooed these letters on your forehead. It doesn't matter if you're wearing a jersey with our name on it, or a business suit at an interview. You have to assume that every person you meet will form a permanent opinion about fraternities – good or bad – based on how you interact with them. Every good thing you do builds us up. Every dumb thing you do tears us down.
We live in a time when the actions of one man or one woman can kill a group like ours. One person who acts in a way that is inconsistent with our shared values can end a hundred years of tradition and pride. One choice you make on a Friday night can take away everything that generations of men have worked to build.
All the stuff you see that belongs to us can be boxed up or thrown out, because of the choices you make.
If this seems a little intense, that's good. Because it's serious. If it sounds like too much responsibility, or if you don't think you can behave in a way that reflects well on us at all times, then walk away now. Do us the favor. We won't think less of you. In fact, we'll thank you. This sort of commitment isn't for everybody.
But, don't say yes unless you understand.
We're not asking you to give up anything. We aren't asking you to become something you aren't. We're asking you to become something more. We're inviting you to become part of a group of men who make a promise to take care of each other, every day. We're asking you to become the very best version of you that you can be.
We're asking you to take a leap of maturity and to go to that place where you're the same, honorable, dignified person on Saturday night as you are on Tuesday morning.
It's a big deal, and not everyone can do it. Forget everything you've heard up to this point. Forget how much you might desire this, or how much we might want to bring you into the group. Just clear your mind and ask yourself one question.
Are you ready to never take them off?
Because when you say yes, you're not just putting letters on a sweatshirt. You're putting them in your heart. You're forever stamping your identity with them. Everything you are, from this point on, becomes who we are.
You will make mistakes, and brothers will remind you of your commitment. There will be times where you will see other brothers forgetting their promise, and you'll need to remind them. That's part of this whole "fraternity" thing. We work together to make ourselves better men who stand for something. We carry each other. We matter to one another.
If we're doing fraternity right, then we'll make you a better man. If you're doing everything right, then you will make us a better organization.
So, please think about it. Take it seriously.
Because if you say yes, these letters belong to you as surely as they belonged to our founders. If you say yes, these letters become your responsibility forever.
That's the promise.
- T.J Sullivan CEO, Campuspeak
http://apathymyth.blogspot.com/
You Are Always Wearing Your Letters
You're interested in joining our fraternity? We'd love to have you. You're the type of person we look for: committed, enthusiastic, a leader. We think you'll do great things here, and we hope that we'll open some doors for you. You will make lifelong friendships, and hopefully, you'll be the type of person whose positive impact will be felt here for many years.
This is the start of something really cool.
We know you have your reasons for joining, and we also know that the reasons you'll stay will be entirely different. Trust us on that one. People tend to join for the image, the props, and the social stuff. They stay around for the friendships and because they find a place where they can impact the lives of others. It's a family. We know this. Soon, you will, too.
Soon, these letters will be yours. But, there's one lesson that we need to impress upon you before you sign your name on the dotted line, pay that first fee, and get that first t-shirt. It's the single most important thing we're going to ask of you, so you need to listen and understand it, now, before you say "yes."
It's the one most important thing that any fraternity or sorority can impress upon its new members. It's the one lesson that every group must impress upon its newest members. Truly, our survival as an organization on this campus, and nationwide, depends on you understanding this one simple lesson and taking it to heart.
It's more important than our history, our traditions, our structure, or our rules. Because, if you don't understand this most fundamental lesson, then none of the other stuff will matter. If you don't get this one "golden rule of fraternity," then your son or daughter won't have this kind of organization to join someday, and all of this will just be a fuzzy memory.
Here it is. Ready?
From the moment you say yes to this organization, you are always wearing your letters.
I'm going to repeat it.
From the moment you say yes to this organization, you are always wearing your letters.
We're not talking about t-shirts, or sweatshirts, or hats made in the colors of the group. We're not talking about a tattoo on your ankle, some party favor, or a badge you wear on your dress shirt.
What we mean is that when you say yes to lifetime membership in this group, everything you say, do and represent from that moment forward is a direct reflection on this group, your brothers, and the thousands of members who have come before you. Everything you put out to the world is a direct reflection of this fraternity. Every decision, every achievement, every mistake you make happens to all of us from this point forward.
When you go to the grocery store, you represent us. If you fall asleep in class or earn a weak grade, you represent us. When you drive down the road and slow down so a pedestrian can cross the street, you represent us.
When you turn 21 and hit the town, you represent us. When you become a leader of another campus organization, you represent us. When you insult someone or talk badly about another fraternity, you represent us. When you break up with someone and make decisions about how you behave during that difficult time, you represent us. When you go on Spring Break, you represent us.
When you go home and sit at your mother's dining room table, you represent us. When you get a job and go to work for a company or organization, you represent us. When you commit your life to that special person, someday, you represent us.
You are always wearing your letters.
From this day forward, always. Every day, in every situation. They never come off.
As surely as if you tattooed these letters on your forehead. It doesn't matter if you're wearing a jersey with our name on it, or a business suit at an interview. You have to assume that every person you meet will form a permanent opinion about fraternities – good or bad – based on how you interact with them. Every good thing you do builds us up. Every dumb thing you do tears us down.
We live in a time when the actions of one man or one woman can kill a group like ours. One person who acts in a way that is inconsistent with our shared values can end a hundred years of tradition and pride. One choice you make on a Friday night can take away everything that generations of men have worked to build.
All the stuff you see that belongs to us can be boxed up or thrown out, because of the choices you make.
If this seems a little intense, that's good. Because it's serious. If it sounds like too much responsibility, or if you don't think you can behave in a way that reflects well on us at all times, then walk away now. Do us the favor. We won't think less of you. In fact, we'll thank you. This sort of commitment isn't for everybody.
But, don't say yes unless you understand.
We're not asking you to give up anything. We aren't asking you to become something you aren't. We're asking you to become something more. We're inviting you to become part of a group of men who make a promise to take care of each other, every day. We're asking you to become the very best version of you that you can be.
We're asking you to take a leap of maturity and to go to that place where you're the same, honorable, dignified person on Saturday night as you are on Tuesday morning.
It's a big deal, and not everyone can do it. Forget everything you've heard up to this point. Forget how much you might desire this, or how much we might want to bring you into the group. Just clear your mind and ask yourself one question.
Are you ready to never take them off?
Because when you say yes, you're not just putting letters on a sweatshirt. You're putting them in your heart. You're forever stamping your identity with them. Everything you are, from this point on, becomes who we are.
You will make mistakes, and brothers will remind you of your commitment. There will be times where you will see other brothers forgetting their promise, and you'll need to remind them. That's part of this whole "fraternity" thing. We work together to make ourselves better men who stand for something. We carry each other. We matter to one another.
If we're doing fraternity right, then we'll make you a better man. If you're doing everything right, then you will make us a better organization.
So, please think about it. Take it seriously.
Because if you say yes, these letters belong to you as surely as they belonged to our founders. If you say yes, these letters become your responsibility forever.
That's the promise.
- T.J Sullivan CEO, Campuspeak
Thursday, February 4, 2010
Don't Be Such A Jerk
I just got back from a 6 day long visit to work with our chapter at Texas A&M. I had the concept already in my mind for this blog before I left and then something happened on my flight home that reinforced the story I want to tell.
I'm in my seat (as is everybody else) and the flight attendant is standing next to me when this man gets on the plane. He starts to open the closed overhead bins when she interjects "If the bin is closed then it's full. It seems there is no room for your items so we'll have to plane side check them." This man then erupts into a fit of rage while he yells at her, calls her stupid, and then proceeds to open the bin above my seat (where my bag is). He says "I'll make room then!" as he starts aggressively cramming his bag into a space that had no room, he's insulting her and making sarcastic remarks like "Look there Lassie, looks like you're not very bright because I just made room. Oh my, that was so hard!" She, of course, maintained her composer and asked him to sit down. The other people around me were rolling their eyes and making comments about how inappropriate and rude he was under their breathe. As the 2 hour flight goes on, every time he is asked if he wants a beverage or asked to turn off his phone he is rude and loud and just out of line. We arrive in Detroit (layover) and of course he finds it necessary to leap out of his seat (before the seatbelt sign was off) and barge through others to get his precious luggage and start making business calls. It was then that notice the small luggage tag on his bag and it says "Residence Hotels, by Marriott." The next thought that crosses my mind is "Oh good God I will never EVER stay at a Marriott in this city and risk seeing him. He is such a jerk, how could he work in such a customer service oriented job? If he's the boss, I bet his staff hates him and if he's a staff member, how could the company allow him to stay if he acts like THAT!?"
It is then that I have this realization that in that moment I did what any other normal person would do - make assumptions and judge his entire company based on one jerks behavior. People do the same thing in Greek Life and with your chapters. There is some incentive to kicking out members who do stupid things or misrepresent the Fraternity or your chapter. If I had never met that man it's likely that I would have stayed in his hotel but now I pass judgement on not only his hotel but Marriott, who allows their employees to act like that. Maybe they have no idea how he acts outside of work but if they did I certainly hope they would fire him. Lucky for you, you're around your chapter brothers all the time, not just at meetings. You know how they act all the time, and it's your responsibility to hold them accountable. Don't allow jerks to stay in your chapter without repercussion for their behavior. This is a time when leaders have to manage and not just lead. I'll go back to my favorite analogy. If you need to buy eggs, you open the carton and if there is a cracked egg, you put it back and find a carton with no cracked eggs. Don't let your chapter be the carton that gets put back.
The men of Texas A&M were the antitheses of jerks. They actually have one of the most remarkable qualities that is so impressive in a person. They hear things that maybe they don't want to hear or don't agree with, they tell you how they really feel, you have conflict and then you walk out of the room friends and they still treat you with respect. So people - stop being jerks and treating people poorly who have to tell you what you don't want to hear. To better ourselves as people and as chapters we have to be open to criticism and change. Don't treat somebody like crap just because they are doing their job. You should strive to be mature, honest, gentlemen like the men of Texas Gamma Sigma.
I'm in my seat (as is everybody else) and the flight attendant is standing next to me when this man gets on the plane. He starts to open the closed overhead bins when she interjects "If the bin is closed then it's full. It seems there is no room for your items so we'll have to plane side check them." This man then erupts into a fit of rage while he yells at her, calls her stupid, and then proceeds to open the bin above my seat (where my bag is). He says "I'll make room then!" as he starts aggressively cramming his bag into a space that had no room, he's insulting her and making sarcastic remarks like "Look there Lassie, looks like you're not very bright because I just made room. Oh my, that was so hard!" She, of course, maintained her composer and asked him to sit down. The other people around me were rolling their eyes and making comments about how inappropriate and rude he was under their breathe. As the 2 hour flight goes on, every time he is asked if he wants a beverage or asked to turn off his phone he is rude and loud and just out of line. We arrive in Detroit (layover) and of course he finds it necessary to leap out of his seat (before the seatbelt sign was off) and barge through others to get his precious luggage and start making business calls. It was then that notice the small luggage tag on his bag and it says "Residence Hotels, by Marriott." The next thought that crosses my mind is "Oh good God I will never EVER stay at a Marriott in this city and risk seeing him. He is such a jerk, how could he work in such a customer service oriented job? If he's the boss, I bet his staff hates him and if he's a staff member, how could the company allow him to stay if he acts like THAT!?"
It is then that I have this realization that in that moment I did what any other normal person would do - make assumptions and judge his entire company based on one jerks behavior. People do the same thing in Greek Life and with your chapters. There is some incentive to kicking out members who do stupid things or misrepresent the Fraternity or your chapter. If I had never met that man it's likely that I would have stayed in his hotel but now I pass judgement on not only his hotel but Marriott, who allows their employees to act like that. Maybe they have no idea how he acts outside of work but if they did I certainly hope they would fire him. Lucky for you, you're around your chapter brothers all the time, not just at meetings. You know how they act all the time, and it's your responsibility to hold them accountable. Don't allow jerks to stay in your chapter without repercussion for their behavior. This is a time when leaders have to manage and not just lead. I'll go back to my favorite analogy. If you need to buy eggs, you open the carton and if there is a cracked egg, you put it back and find a carton with no cracked eggs. Don't let your chapter be the carton that gets put back.
The men of Texas A&M were the antitheses of jerks. They actually have one of the most remarkable qualities that is so impressive in a person. They hear things that maybe they don't want to hear or don't agree with, they tell you how they really feel, you have conflict and then you walk out of the room friends and they still treat you with respect. So people - stop being jerks and treating people poorly who have to tell you what you don't want to hear. To better ourselves as people and as chapters we have to be open to criticism and change. Don't treat somebody like crap just because they are doing their job. You should strive to be mature, honest, gentlemen like the men of Texas Gamma Sigma.
Thursday, January 21, 2010
Setting goals and my Bucket List
So I first must apologize for the severe lack of blogging going on by the Phi Kap staff lately! We like many of you had the holidays, vacation, President's Academy and now many of us are prepping for some spring chapter visits (so we look forward to actually getting to SEE some of you!).
I've been thinking a lot lately about goals. I chose not to make a New Years Resolution this year as I never actually follow through, but instead I was inspired by the new MTV show The Buried Life to go back and review, revise, and work towards my Bucket List! When I was in grad school I made the list and recently I expanded my list to 100 things I want to do in my lifetime! (I am now officially admitting to being an MTV addict, so if you aren't as nuts as I and haven't seen the show yet, check these guys out at www.theburiedlife.com ).The difficult part of course is deciding where to even start on my list. Whenever we as staff do strategic planning with chapters, we often have to have this same conversation. Where to prioritize and how to start breaking down each goal into something more manageable for the short term? Take each goal and give yourself strategies or mini goals to help complete them! Think about balancing short term and long term goals, as well as prioritizing what you or your chapter find the most important to accomplish. It is helpful to have some accountability as well. We encourage chapters to share goals with a staff member or advisor to help keep them on track!
So to start the goal momentum I'm going to share some goals on my bucket list that I'm working on:
#5 Run a half marathon (Rob and I will be running this in May!)
#21 Pay off my grad school debt (by following a budget with monthly goals!)
#23 Learn to make a Key Lime Pie (my favorite dessert)
#57 Visit all 50 states (thanks to Phi Kappa Theta, I've added PA this year)
Now that I'm putting some of mine in the open, I hope it encourages all of you to revisit what you want both personally and out of your Phi Kappa Theta experience. How do you plan to get there?
So are you willing to share your personal goals or chapter goals for accountability? We'd love to hear them! Leave us a comment!
I've been thinking a lot lately about goals. I chose not to make a New Years Resolution this year as I never actually follow through, but instead I was inspired by the new MTV show The Buried Life to go back and review, revise, and work towards my Bucket List! When I was in grad school I made the list and recently I expanded my list to 100 things I want to do in my lifetime! (I am now officially admitting to being an MTV addict, so if you aren't as nuts as I and haven't seen the show yet, check these guys out at www.theburiedlife.com ).The difficult part of course is deciding where to even start on my list. Whenever we as staff do strategic planning with chapters, we often have to have this same conversation. Where to prioritize and how to start breaking down each goal into something more manageable for the short term? Take each goal and give yourself strategies or mini goals to help complete them! Think about balancing short term and long term goals, as well as prioritizing what you or your chapter find the most important to accomplish. It is helpful to have some accountability as well. We encourage chapters to share goals with a staff member or advisor to help keep them on track!
So to start the goal momentum I'm going to share some goals on my bucket list that I'm working on:
#5 Run a half marathon (Rob and I will be running this in May!)
#21 Pay off my grad school debt (by following a budget with monthly goals!)
#23 Learn to make a Key Lime Pie (my favorite dessert)
#57 Visit all 50 states (thanks to Phi Kappa Theta, I've added PA this year)
Now that I'm putting some of mine in the open, I hope it encourages all of you to revisit what you want both personally and out of your Phi Kappa Theta experience. How do you plan to get there?
So are you willing to share your personal goals or chapter goals for accountability? We'd love to hear them! Leave us a comment!
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